Ok, so I don't know what to call this, but this title will have to make do. So I'm not to sure who will happen to stumble upon this post, although I'm pretty sure no one reads this seeing as I haven't made this blog public besides showing it to one of my classes last semester. So hi to all who happen to read this by chance of deep web surfing. Anyways, back to the point. I was out talking with one of my friends the other day and we got on the topic of friends. I haven't shared this with many of my friends seeing as if you're my friend it's because I want you to be. I don't hold any standards or qualifications for who I can and cannot be friends with. I mean if we get along, then by all means I'm more than willing to let you into my life. But I do have some friends who hold unrealistic expectations for who they can "hang out" with. It's so foolish to me to think that I can't or shouldn't be friends with so-and-so because they like this, or they don't do that. It brings me back to high school where people were so exclusive. I would like to think that I wasn't one of those stuck up teens who tried to surround themselves with the best people to ensure "popularity" status, but unfortunately I did have my moments. It wasn't until about junior or senior year when I thought,"Who cares?" These people won't matter in the next couple of years, and it's so true. Now being a senior in college those "people" from high school that I thought mattered so much to me and we were going to be best friends forever, don't even cross my mind anymore - with the exception of writing this post.
I was sharing with my friend (the same friend as previously posted), that in high school I never really hung out with "The Black Kids." Not making any racial slurs here, seeing as I am black myself, but I often did wonder why that was. In high school and sadly in college I was often approached by random people asking, "Why don't you ever hang out with "us" black kids, I mean you're like the only one who doesn't hang out with us." Kind of ridiculous sounding right? Yea, I thought so too. The more I thought about it the more confused I got. I mean, I even got these remarks from my sister as well. Being from a predominantly "white" family (I'm adopted) I guess I never really grew up with other African American families or hung out with other kids. My neighborhood as a child was filled with tons of kids my age, sadly none were black, but I don't think that's had any influence on my friend choices. People have always told me how friendly I am, and I'd like to think the same. It just bothers me that people just assume since I'm black, that I automatically have all black friends or that I share some kind of instant connection with someone because they have the same skin color as me. To be honest I'm not sure many people out there could truly understand me and the way I think, even if I tried my hardest to help them to. I told one of my professors while traveling abroad to India, "I don't choose my friends based on what race they are, I choose my friends based on similarities we have, and how well we get along." I'd say going off that, it's gotten me some really great friends who are all different and unique and I wouldn't change that for anything.
Sadly, it's been said to me on more than one occasion, that before getting to know who I was that so-and-so thought I was this kind of person or that I did that or the weirdest one was that someone was actually scared of me before they met me. Huh? Can I just say that I have an uncontrollable phobia of spiders and I'd rather be the one getting hurt than see someone else get hurt. Maybe it was the fact that I am 5'11", I can hope. I hope no one is scared or intimidated by me, because that just makes me sad. To think that I'm unapproachable to some people based on first impressions.
I guess that's about all I have to say about that. Just a little rant/ stuff I've been thinking about for quite some time now, that I had to get off my chest. If there's any lesson I've learned is that the best friends come from being who you are and not placing preconceived judgements upon people who you don't even know. I give everyone a chance, and if by chance we don't clique (which is very, highly unlikely) as friends for some reason, then it wasn't meant to be, and I'll move with life as should they. Well, until next time. :)
Jess
No comments:
Post a Comment